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Ali & Erica
Ali & Erica

Finding mr height: the podcast

Positive & practical advice from the dating trenches to help you take control of your dating life.

finding mr. height: live

we have a show comnig up on may 15th in nyc! click below to get a ticket or vote for us to come to your city. 

About The Show

From her TikTok and Instagram, @findingmrheight, dating coach Ali Jackson is joined by friend & stand up comedian Erica Spera (@spericaa) to bring you their positive and practical dating approach in podcast form. Their straightforward attitudes, often with some humor on the side, will help you tackle modern dating issues while building confidence and staying authentic to your true self. Follow along @findingmrheight for even more content!

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Rock your favorite FMH sayings in your daily life! Tell the world that it’s a scam. Declare that you’re hot. commit to more kissing less crying.

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We are so fortunate to have incredible sponsors for the podcast and you can find those discount codes here! We always test the products to ensure we absolutely love them. looking for a promo code Ali shared on her socials? find them here. 

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Meet your Hosts

Ali Jackson

Ali Jackson is a 36-year-old dating coach with a positive mindset who’s been there, in the trenches, looking for her person in New York City. She’s taken her experience and turned it into personalized programming designed to help you refine what you’re looking for…and then go get it. Now, she brings that expertise to the world of podcasts alongside her good friend, ERICA. Learn More or follow her on TikTok & Instagram.

Erica Spera

Erica Spera is a New York City based stand up comedian. She has been seen on The Late Late show with James Corden, and was one of TBS’ Comics to Watch. She has opened for comics such as Taylor Tomlinson, Bert Kreischer, Patton Oswalt, Jared Freid, and more! Spera also hosts the popular podcasts “Finding Mr. Height” and “Shooters Gotta Shoot” all about dating and relationships. You can follow her @Spericaa

episodes

Going through a breakup? Anxious thoughts feeling overwhelming? Struggling with dating app burnout? Hit Ctrl+F (or Command+F) to search for the perfect episode.

Episode #168 - The A Little Nudge One ft. Erika Ettin

Erica & Ali are diving into the apps with dating coach & app expert Erika Ettin of @alittlenudge. We talk about whether it really matters what opener you send (hint: YES), how to deal with dating app burnout, and why Erika recommends dating NATO (not attached to outcome).

Episode #167 - The Roundup One

Erica & Ali are bouncing around in a roundup episode this week, chatting about recent dating-related news items. First, we have some updates from last week’s ep! Then, we dive into the risks of buying a house with someone you’re not married to (Tom & Ariana, anyone?) and discuss why dating apps have been on a downswing.

Episode #166 - The Female Friendships One ft. Danielle Bayard Jackson

Ali & Erica are back for another episode about friendship, featuring incredible friendship coach, Danielle Bayard Jackson! Danielle’s upcoming book, Fighting for Our Friendships, is all about the science behind women’s relationships and she brings us SO much knowledge: from deepening your bond with an acquaintance, to the influence our friends have on our romantic relationships, to how we should romance our friends, too.

Episode #165 - The First Date One

Ali & Erica have a first date guide for you this week! We’re breaking down everything you need to know: getting from dating app convo to date, pre-date texting guidelines, first date arrival logistics, conversation tips to avoid and awkwardness, and so much more.

Episode #164 - The Ick One

Have you ever gotten the ick from a match or a date? Ali & Erica have rounded up all sorts of icks from the listeners and we’re debating them on this week’s episode. It’s a fun and silly one this week!

Episode #163 - The Pretty Much Done One ft. Julia Mazur

Have you ever considered picking up and moving to a new city? Julia Mazur, host of the Pretty Much Done podcast, did just that. Having spent her whole life in Los Angeles, she moved to Austin after a break up and has never been happier. And, in addition, to her move, we get into a great discussion about hyper-independence and how it can affect relationships. It’s a conversation you don’t want to miss!

Episode #162 - The Thirteenth Hot Topics One

Ali & Erica are back with questions submitted by you, the listeners! We start with the age-old question: should you give a ghost a second chance? Then, a listener has a crush at work – how can she get this man on a date? Or should she give up? And lastly, we advise a listener who is about to visit a long-distance situationship.

Episode #161 - The Ask A Matchmaker One ft. Maria Avgitidis

Your calls have been answered…Matchmaker Maria is back on the pod!! We’re answering all sorts of listener questions, Ask A Matchmaker style. For example: how do you balance a hoe phase with dating intentionally? What should you learn about someone before sleeping with them? And so much more…

Episode #160 - The Meeting IRL One

How do people meet IRL these days?! Are there things we can be doing, places we can going, openers we can be using to make it all feel easier? This week, Ali & Erica are breaking down their best tips on meeting people “in the wild” plus sharing some of yours. We cover everything from body language when you’re out alone to opening lines for a cute stranger to going in for the number exchange.

Episode #159 - The Hello Hayes One ft. Alexandra Hayes

Ali & Erica are welcoming an advice column legend to the pod this week…it’s Hello Hayes, answering all your questions about friendships! We start by diving into her Six Besties Theory and then get to your questions – ranging from navigating a friendship breakup to feeling like the odd one out in your friend group.

Episode #158 - The Test Test Manifest One

Dating apps getting sued? Financial columnist scammed out of $50k? Ali & Erica reading a book about manifesting? We’re rounding up the week’s most unbelievable stories on this week’s episode. Tune in for our (non-lawyer) verdicts on the dating app case, our advice for future scam attempts, and the kickoff to the next few weeks of attempting to manifest using the book E-Squared by Pam Grout.

Episode #157 - The Twelfth Hot Topics One

Ali & Erica are answering your questions this week! First, a listener worries she’s slipping into a FWB situation. Next, we give advice for letting someone know you’re newly single (hint: do not use the company Slack). Next, a listener wonders why her first dates keep getting “friends only” vibes from her – is she doing something wrong? And lastly, a listener in a long distance relationship struggles to bring up something she found in her boyfriend’s apartment.

Episode #156 - The Third Fertility One ft. Jordana Abraham

Ali & Erica are continuing our fertility series with a third installment this week, welcoming Jordana Abraham back to the pod. In this deeply vulnerable episode, Jordana opens up about her fertility journey navigating pregnancy loss and the IVF process. We discuss the emotional toll this has taken and how she’s handled each step along the way.

Episode #155 - The First Race & Dating One

Ali & Erica are starting a long-awaited series, race and dating, and we kick things off as Erica interviews Ali about her experiences as a multiracial woman. Ali relates what it was like growing up in mostly-white spaces, how that impacted her world (and self) view, and ultimately her dating life. We look forward to more episodes in the future digging into various aspects of this vast topic!

Episode #154 - The F The Fairytale One ft. Damona Hoffman

Ali & Erica welcome an OG of dating advice to the pod this week – Damona Hoffman, author of the new book “F The Fairytale” and host of the Dates & Mates podcast. We get into topics such as Damona’s best tips for dating mindset, how the online dating landscape has changed in her 15 years of coaching, and how race has played a role in her own dating life (and Ali weighs in too!).

Episode #153 - The Fifth Ask A 30-Something Man One

Ali & Erica are joined by Zach, a 30-something man whose friends are managing his Hinge profile. We talk about how (and why) this arrangement came to be plus what he’s learned from having someone else set up his dates. And, has it been a success? Listen and find out!

Episode #152 - The Birth Order One

Should firstborns always date lastborns? Are lastborn-lastborn relationships doomed? Or does it even matter? We’re finding out in this week’s episode, using research from around the web plus listener experiences (and our own!). Plus, a listener calls in with a PSA about gift card scams.

Episode #151 - The Eleventh Hot Topics One

Ali & Erica are answering your questions in a Hot Topics episode this week! First, a listener has a crush on a friend of a friend…does he like her back? Second, a listener wonders how to know if she’s experiencing the slow burn or just a lack of attraction. Lastly, a listener runs into an ex while on a date. Should she reach out?

Episode #150 - The Have Him At Hello One

Ali & Erica are reviewing the first dating book Ali ever read (15 years ago!!) this week – Have Him At Hello by Rachel Greenwald. The author interviewed 1,000 men about why they didn’t want second dates and we’re debating how her findings apply to modern dating. Ali & Erica both identify (mostly) with The Boss Lady…how about you?

Episode #149 - The Masculinity One ft. Rachel Sievers, M.S.

What is masculinity, anyway? How can you identify someone with healthy masculinity? How about someone who wants to equitably divide the mental load of a relationship? Rachel Sievers, M.S. – retired psychotherapist and host of The Answer To Everything Podcast – is here to help.

Episode #148 - The Smart Dating One ft. Bela Gandhi

Bela Gandhi, dating coach and founder of Smart Dating Academy, joins us this week to answer your questions! Tune in to find out why she insists her clients do video dates before IRL dates, one of the steps in her tried and true method to help her clients find partnership, particularly later in life or after divorce.

Episode #147 - The 2023 Wrapped One

How did 2023 go for us? We’re breaking it down this week. How many first dates did we go on? What lessons did we learn? And did we succeed at “more kissing, less crying”?? Plus, we’re sharing what you, the listeners, learned this year.

Episode #146 - The Mother Daughter One

In honor of our recently-launched mother/daughter trip to Portugal, Ali & Erica have invited their moms on the show! We’re answering your questions: everything from who our moms think we should date to their best tips for lasting relationships. Get a glimpse into our relationships before the trip and learn more about the itinerary at the links in either of our IG bios. We’re staying in the heart of Lisbon and then journeying down the Algarve coast in October 2024!

Episode #145 - The Gifts For Men One ft. Sebastian Conelli & Robbie Nunes

It’s that time of year where we all agonize over what to get the men in our lives, whether they’re partners, brothers, sons, or friends. So Ali & Erica sat down with Sebastian Conelli & Robbie Nunes, co-hosts of the Loud About Nothing podcast, to talk gifts. The four of us reveal the best (and worst) gifts we’ve ever gotten plus brainstorm ideas for you to use yourself!

Episode #144 - The Marry Him One

Are you too picky? Ali & Erica aim to find out this week as we dive into a book that regularly makes the rounds on social media: “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb. We discuss things that used to be dealbreakers but aren’t any more, whether women need to “settle” more, and how we each navigate our preferences in dating.

Episode #143 - The Waiting for Marriage One ft. Paul Schissler

Are you waiting for marriage? Or just curious what dating is like for someone who is? Comedian (and Erica’s former roommate – literally, ROOMmate) Paul Schissler joins us to chat about his journey doing just that. We answer listener questions ranging from when to divulge to people you’re dating to how to ensure you’re on the same page with what post-marriage intimacy might look like.

Episode #142 - The Different Cities One

Have you ever thought that your city is the worst for dating? Turns out most of our listeners do…so Ali & Erica are putting that to the test this week. We’re “traveling” to different cities in our dating apps and reporting back on our findings – plus sharing feedback from the listeners! Did we skip your city? Let us know at findingmrheight.com/podcast.

Episode #141 - The Second Fertility One ft Dr. Peter Klatsky

We’re back with the second installment of our fertility series, interviewing a very special guest – Erica’s doctor at Spring Fertility, Dr. Peter Klatsky! We start out by busting a few fertility myths and then get into questions from our listeners! Dr. Klatsky advises us on selecting a fertility provider, pulls back the curtain on egg freezing statistics, and so much more.

Episode #140 - The Tenth Hot Topics One

Ali & Erica are taking listener questions (and bring back Weird or Nah!) in this week’s Hot Topics episode. First, we debate a listener’s screenshot dilemma and discuss setting boundaries in early dating. Then, we discuss how (or if) to tell a friend you think she’s settling. And finally, a listener writes in for advice on working with her ex who is dating someone new.

Episode #139 - The UnF*ck Your Brain One ft. Kara Loewentheil

Are you supervising your brain? Do you even know how? Kara Loewentheil, J.D., Master Certified Coach, and host of the UnF*ck Your Brain podcast is here to help. On this week’s episode, we explore topics of anxiety, particularly in the bedroom, and how to navigate through them. Kara explains how she worked to re-train her thoughts and we dive into how socialization impacts how we think.

Episode #138 - The Life Coach One ft. Rachelle Indra

Are you skeptical about life coaches? Rachelle Indra, who literally is one herself, was too! Ali & Erica are truly enthralled by her insights this week, so much so that we actually had to FORCE ourselves to end the interview. In particular, we dive deep into moving through heartbreak & healing going into a new relationship. We also touch on balancing self compassion with accountability and how to avoid toxic positivity – while remaining positive.

Episode #137 - The r/AskMen One

What do men wish women knew about them?? Well, we asked them for you (and pulled even more insights from around the internet). We hear about things like: avoiding subtlety/hints, how men don’t want to keep chasing you, and gosh darnit it’s nice to be the little spoon sometimes!

Episode #136 - The City Confessions One ft. Mariann Yip

Have you wondered what the transition is like from single and dating to being in a relationship? Author and lifestyle blogger Mariann Yip is telling Ali & Erica all about how she went from publishing a book about her NYC dating life to starting a family…all within a year! We chat about first dates, feeling lonely in parenthood, and letting go of what you thought your timeline would be.

Episode #135 - The Tenth Grab Bag One

Ali & Erica are taking rapid fire listener questions this week in the latest Grab Bag episode! Topics range from defining “exclusive” vs “official,” determining if someone is ready to date, setting boundaries with advice from friends, to ending a date.

Episode #134 - The 37 & Single One ft. Jared Freid

Jared Freid is fresh off his hilarious Netflix special, 37 & Single, and answering your listener questions! What’s the right way to set two people up? Are there certain dating app answers he hates seeing? And many more, followed by what might be our new favorite game: Pick The Ick.

Episode #133 - The Fiscal Femme One ft. Ashley Feinstein Gertsley

We’re talking finances this week, with Ashley Feinstein Gertsley, CFP and founder of The Fiscal Femme. Are you wondering where/how to start investing? And if you’re even ready to do that? Or maybe you’re trying to create and stick to a spending plan. Ali & Erica learn some things too as we dive into all things money.

Episode #132 - The Hypothetical One

If you knew you’d meet the person you’re going to marry in 5 years, would you still date? Would you rather win the lottery or find your soulmate? Ali & Erica debate some fun dating hypotheticals this week. Tune in for what Erica would say to a room full of people she’s slept with and why Ali would just break into song.

Episode #131 - The Ninth Hot Topics One

Ali & Erica are back with in-depth listener questions, otherwise known as Hot Topics! This week, we discuss: reaching back out to someone you rejected (or always wondering what if), managing emotions when someone you’re dating updates their app profile, & who should initiate a first date.

Episode #130.5 - The Bonus One

This bonus episode features an exclusive Patreon preview to stay on track with Ali and Erica’s dating updates. Ali recaps an awkward first date that never seems to end, while Erica finds herself in a scenario where she’s fighting her instincts.

Episode #130 - Listener Storytime: Sexual Assault

TRIGGER WARNING This episode centers around sexual assault.

This week, we welcome on two incredible listeners to tell their stories. They each offer a deep perspective on both their experiences and their lives since – we can’t thank them enough for their vulnerability. If you’re out there resonating with this episode, please know you are not alone. There are no updates from Ali & Erica in this episode – stay tuned for a Patreon teaser later this week.

Episode #129 - The Men Love Bitches One

Do men really love bitches? What IS a bitch, anyway? And can we take anything away from a book that was written over 20 years ago?? Ali & Erica debate a list of “attraction principles” from the recently-resurged bestseller book, “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov to find out.