Positive & practical advice from the dating trenches to help you take control of your dating life.
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About The Show
On Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast, dating & relationship coach Ali Jackson brings you her positive and practical approach built from personal experience in the dating trenches. No matter where you are in your relationship journey, you’ll learn how to identify your needs, embrace your feelings, and directly communicate both.
Ready to feel more authentic and grounded in your relationships and more joyful in your life overall? Tune in as Ali brings you relatable conversations with both expert guests and listeners just like you, peppering in her own personal insights along the way.
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promo codes
We are so fortunate to have incredible sponsors for the podcast and you can find those discount codes here! We always test the products to ensure we absolutely love them. looking for a promo code Ali shared on her socials? find them here.
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Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH
Meet your Host
Ali Jackson is a dating coach with a positive mindset who’s been there, in the trenches, looking for her person in New York City. She’s taken her experience and turned it into personalized programming designed to help you refine what you’re looking for…and then go get it. Now, she brings that expertise to the world of podcasts. Learn More or follow her on TikTok & Instagram.
episodes
Going through a breakup? Anxious thoughts feeling overwhelming? Struggling with dating app burnout? Hit Ctrl+F (or Command+F) to search for the perfect episode.
Episode #219 - The Vacation Rules One
Ali is fresh off her one-year anniversary trip with Skyline and dishing about her favorite parts (and not so favorite parts) of the trip. She shares the “vacation rules” that she and Skyline have come up with to help them best enjoy their trips and how some of those “rules” have expanded into every day life. Plus, a stressful moment provides an opportunity to reflect on managing low-level conflict and responding vs reacting in relationships. Ali also answers two listeners questions: one about a friend who consistently brings down the vibe at events and one from a listener who’s debating if she should reach out to a former situationship.
Episode #218 - The Introducing Skyline One
Ali and Skyline are on their first anniversary vacation and he’s just been introduced on social media…no better time to introduce him to the podcast! This week, you’ll hear an interview that Ali & Erica did on the Patreon back in February.
Episode #217- The First Profile Review One ft. Caeli
Caeli from our Dating Diaries segment is back on the podcast this week and we’re diving into her Bumble profile! We walk through her bio, prompts, and photos and discuss where she can make improvements to set herself up for more success. Through Ali’s notes on photo guidelines, best ways to elicit a reply with your prompts, and ways that different people swipe you’ll get some great tips for crafting your own profile! Plus, Caeli fills us in on a first date she went on and the two debate whether she should go on a second. Note: Ali’s mic wasn’t hooked up properly for the updates section, we apologize for the less-than-stellar audio.
Episode #216 - The Second Dating Diaries One: Introducing Elyse
It’s time to meet our second Dating Diaries participant…Elyse! A 26-year-old living in a major east coast city, Elyse is ready to dive back into dating after recovering from her longest relationship to date. In this introduction episode, you’ll learn about Elyse’s dating history as a self-proclaimed “late bloomer,” how her last relationship played out, plus a very recent development that’s hot off the presses. Stay tuned as we hear more from Elyse and offer her some big sister advice on her journey that’s unfolding right here on the podcast.
Episode #215 - The Bored of Dating Apps One ft. Jessica Hope
Feeling burned out by dating apps? Jessica Hope, founder of Bored of Dating Apps, has BEEN THERE – and she created an entire company to deal with it! Coming to you from Ali’s living room couch, Jess chronicles the dating frustrations that led her to focus more on dating in person and start her own IRL dating events…a journey that ultimately led to her now partner. Ali and Jess chat flirting strategies, how to approach dating events, and much more in this super fun conversation.
Episode #214 - The First Dating Diaries One: Introducing Caeli
It’s our very first Dating Diaries episode, a new segment following listeners along their dating journeys. We’re kicking things off with two listeners, and our first Diary Dater is Caeli, a 32-year-old living in the Chicago suburbs who is ready to start dating intentionally. In this intro episode, you’ll learn more about Caeli’s story including her dating history (and some nicknames), what she’s looking for, her current dating goals/challenges, and more. Stay tuned in future episodes as we follow along with Caeli’s dates and help her get some outside guidance.
Episode #213 -The second Re-Introducing Ali One
We’ve got part 2 of my re-introduction this week – both for newer listeners and even our OG crowd as I pick up where we left off last week and dive deep into my live since starting FMH. We chat toxic relationships, career changes, regrets, and much more in part two of this two-part series to kick off my solo podcasting journey. Plus, I share some exciting news on the Skyline front (and promise to highlight more about our relationship in future episodes, including with him as a guest!).
Episode #212 -The First Re-Introducing Ali One
TW: Grief and SA. It’s my (Ali’s) first official solo episode and we’re starting things off with a re-introduction to my background – both for newer listeners and even our OG crowd as I share deeper insights into my childhood/early adulthood & the things that led me to who I am today. We chat friendship wounds, anxious attachment origins, grief, and much more in part one of this two-part series to kick off my solo podcasting journey. Plus, we get into some early days nicknames from before FMH as you know it existed and chat about a strategy I recently learned for managing overthinking!
Episode #211 - The Farewell to Erica One
We’re saying goodbye to Erica as a Finding Mr. Height co-host on this week’s episode of the podcast, and it’s definitely an emotional one! After getting the latest Roommate update, Ali interviews Erica using questions from both you the listeners and ones Ali has herself. Topics include: Erica’s highlights and learnings from her journey on the podcast, her favorite (and least favorite) piece of dating advice, what she hopes for her career moving forward, advice she has for Ali on the pod moving forward, and more. Erica, we will miss you SO much. We love you!
Episode #210 - The Third AITA One
For Erica’s second to last episode on the pod, we’re doing one of our favorite formats one last time together…Am I The Asshole featuring submissions from Reddit! This week we have: a man wonders if he’s being unreasonable in wanting his girlfriend to loosen up her 50/50 view of household chores, the finances of a long distance relationship causes resentment, and a husband and wife clash over whose responsibility it is to wake themselves up in the morning.
Episode #209 - The Thirteenth Grab Bag One
We had so many grab bag questions from you that we’re back to answer more this week! Tune in for our thoughts on: choosing bridesmaids & navigating friends’ feelings about it, texting with someone who canceled a first date, feeling anxious when you haven’t heard from someone you’re dating, admitting romantic feelings for a friend, deciding whether to pay for dating apps, and navigating your partner’s friendship with an ex.
Episode #208 - Storytime: Dating After Divorce
TW: Mention of verbal abuse & body shaming. We’re joined by an FMH listener this week for a Storytime about his journey through a bad marriage and into the dating journey that followed his divorce. He takes us through all the lessons he’s learned along the way (and some intense stories) as he worked on himself to lead to his current, healthy partnership (and new baby!).
Episode #207 - The How To Be Dateable One ft. Julie Krafcik and Yue Xu
This week we are joined by Julie & Yue, cohosts of the amazing Dateable podcast and authors of the new book, ‘How To Be Dateable!’ Julie & Yue have drawn on their deep dating histories to develop the advice in their book (and their podcast). And it turns out our two duos have something in common: we’re both Dreamer/Maverick cohost teams! Ali, Erica, Julie, & Yue dive into how these archetypes have shaped their dating journeys and give advice on how listeners can make their type work for them (plus what pitfalls to look out for).
Episode #206 - The Twelfth Grab Bag One
Ali & Erica are answering your rapid-fire questions in another grab bag episode! Including: filtering out ghosters, dating in other cities besides your own, handling breakups, and managing expectations for a second date.
Episode #205 - The Second AITA One
Erica & Ali have a major podcast update at the top of the episode. It’s an emotional one, and we thank you all for being here for it.
We then transition to a lighter topic, discussing several Am I The Asshole situations from Reddit. First, a woman disagrees with her mother in law on who should pay for a broken phone. Then, a husband has issues with her sister in law’s new partner (and they how they got together). And lastly, a woman wonders if she went too far when she told her boyfriend he was being arrogant.
Episode #204 - The Conflict Styles One
We’ve all been in conflict before, but have you ever thought about how your conflict style affects the outcome? And how that style might shift over time and in various situations? This week, Ali & Erica dive into five conflict styles: Competing, Accommodating, Avoiding, Collaborating, and Compromising. Is any one better than the others? Or are some styles more effective than we might think depending on the scenario? We also dive into our own conflict styles and how we’ve experienced them in past relationships. Let us know what parts of this discussion you’d like us to dive into further!
Episode #203 - The Men’s Dating Coach One ft. Blaine Anderson
If you’ve ever wondered what men are thinking as they’re out there dating, Ali & Erica have got your back: this week, we chat with Blaine Anderson, who exclusively coaches men on their dating journey! Blaine gives insight into what her clients struggle with most, what makes them seek out her coaching, how to make it more likely that a man will approach you IRL, and more. Plus, she gives a plug for giving “nice guys” more of a shot – attraction can grow, y’all!
Episode #202 - The Best Of 2024 One
It’s our last episode of 2024 and we’ve got a roundup of the year coming at you! We polled our audience for your best superlative categories plus added in a few of our own. Tune in as we discuss our best/worst dates (and kisses) of the year, best new movie, pop culture moment, place to meet people IRL…and more! PS apologies for the occasional ticking sound when Erica is talking in the topic section – we had some audio issues that should be resolved now!
Episode #201 - The First AITA One
We’re doing a full episode debating Am I The Asshole submissions from Reddit! Ali & Erica discuss the following scenarios: a couple quarrels over their holiday traditions, a poster questions whether he should have told his friend he doesn’t like her boyfriend, a guy comes back from my vacation to discover that his partner has left his apartment a total mess, and a couple disagrees about whether it’s okay for one of them to attend a rehearsal dinner alone.
Episode #200 - The Queer Matchmaking One ft. Dr. Frankie Bashan
Ali & Erica welcome an OG of queer dating coaching & matchmaking onto the pod this week – Dr. Frankie Bashan! You may know her from the sexually fluid season of Are You The One? or from her company Little Gay Book Matchmaking. Dr. Frankie tells us about the specific challenges her queer clients face compared to other daters (and what parallels she sees!) along with giving advice on approaching dating IRL and coming into your own at a later age. We can’t wait for you to hear our conversation!
Episode #199 - The Seventeenth Hot Topics One
Ali & Erica are answering listener questions on the pod this week! But first, we start out with a listener update from a prior Hot Topics episode – remember our distant security guard?? Then, the gals answer 3 new questions. First, what to do if a match’s app profile disappears before your first date? Second, we give advice to a listener who is struggling with getting back onto the apps after a dating hiatus as the only single friend. Lastly, a listener is headed to a wedding where she’ll see an old fling – should she tell her current partner? Don’t forget you can submit questions (and updates!) of your own at findingmrheight.com/podcast!
Episode #198 - The First Uncensored One ft. Abigail Jensen
It’s our first ever public Uncensored episode, featuring Abigail Jensen of the Rat Girls podcast! Abigail was such a popular Patreon Uncensored guest that we had to bring her practical sex and pleasure tips to the main pod. You’ll come away with some amazing tips from this discussion including: navigating mismatched libidos (and why they may not actually be mismatched!), working on initiating sex when it doesn’t feel natural, testing out new things in the bedroom, working through intimacy with body insecurities, and more.
Episode #197 - The Myers Briggs One
Ali & Erica are breaking down one of their favorite personality tests this week: Myers Briggs! The episode starts with a break down of Myers Briggs as a concept – each aspect of the types and the limitations. The gals then discuss their own (basically opposite, lol) personality types and how they impact relationships, both romantic and otherwise. Plus: What personality type is Skyline??
Episode #196 - The Flirting One ft. Benjamin Camras
It feels like flirting just comes naturally to some people, but is it possible to learn to be a better flirt? Benjamin Camras, aka The Flirt Coach, says yes! He’s taking us through his best flirting tips this week, all the way from approaching a stranger at a party to keeping the flirt going in a long-term relationship. You’ll come out of the episode with concrete tips designed to get you out there and flirting!
Episode #195 - The Facebook Groups One
We’ve heard more and more in the dating space about Facebook groups like Are We Dating The Same Guy lately – so we sent a survey out to our listeners asking your thoughts. On this week’s episode, we discuss all sides of these groups, including their original intent, what they’ve become, and how they seem to be impacting our view of dating.
Episode #194 - The Jewish Matchmaker One ft. Aleeza Ben-Shalom
Jewish Matchmaking remains one of Erica and Ali’s favorite dating shows, and this week we welcome its host: Aleeza Ben-Shalom! We get into her viral dating philosophies including no touching for five dates and “date them until you hate them,” plus her thoughts on what qualities make a good match.
Episode #193 - The Nobody Wants This One
Did you binge Nobody Wants This on Netflix as quickly as we did? Ali & Erica are diving into the show that took over our social media feeds (and for good reason) and how it relates to real-life dating. For Ali, the early days of the characters’ relationship hits very close to home and both gals contemplate how they’d react to some of the scenarios if they happened IRL.
Episode #192 - The International Long Distance One ft. Kacie Rose
Have you ever dreamed of travelling abroad and meeting the love of your life? Kacie Rose (@kacierose_ on IG) just did that and she’s here to tell us all about dating long distance and cross-culturally. We discuss her best tips for long distance, what worked in managing conflicts between her and her now-fiancé, and how dating an Italian man is different. Note: Ali’s mic wasn’t hooked up properly for Kacie’s interview, we apologize for the less-than-stellar audio.
Episode #191 - The Sixteenth Hot Topics One
Have a question? Erica & Ali are here to answer it! This week, we answer three listener questions. First, a woman has been setting her friend up on dates and wonders if she should share “exit interview” feedback with her. Second, when should you share potential dealbreaker like pet allergies with a date? Lastly, a listener considers canceling a date when she notices something has changed on his profile.
Episode #190 - The You Love & You Learn One Ft. Sarah Yudkin
Do you experience anxiety in dating and relationships? Worrying that you’ll say the wrong thing, be in the wrong relationship, or ruin things with the right one? Sarah Yudkin, relationship anxiety coach and host of You Love and You Learn podcast, has some soothing words for you (and us!). Sarah shares how her own experience with her now fiance shaped her relationship anxiety work and we discuss issues such as: knowing if it’s your gut or anxiety, how to bring up anxiety with your partner, and dealing with outside opinions about your relationship.
Episode #189 - The Second SATC Theories One
Erica & Ali are back with another hilarious (at least to us) Sex And The City episode, where we dissect its theories while acting out scenes from the show. This week, we’re covering Taxi Cab Theory, how long it takes to get over a break up, and faking orgasms (with a new character introduced!).
Episode #188 - The Quiet the Clock One ft. Beth Gulotta
We always hear, “it will happen when you least expect it,” but letting go of societal timelines and expectations isn’t as easy as a catchy phrase. Enter Beth Gulotta, therapist and host of Quiet The Clock podcast. We chat with Beth about quieting the noise surrounding what you “should” be doing (hint: stop using that word!) and getting more in touch with your inner voice. She gives incredible advice on dealing with social pressure, the urge to compare yourself to others, feeling present in the now while working towards the future, and more.
Episode #187 - The Eleventh Grab Bag One
This week, Ali & Erica are answering short-form listener questions, rapid fire style. We take turns asking each other things like: is it ever okay to be sexual in your dating app profile? Can you be friends with a past situationship? Is it better to be good on paper or have good chemistry? And are people ever actually bad texters, or do they just not like you that much? Plus many more!
Episode #186 - The Sixth Ask A Man One ft. Charles McBee
It’s our first time doing Ask A 40-Something Man, featuring Erica’s good friend and standup comedian Charles McBee. We asked our listeners: “What’s something you’ve always wanted to ask a man?” and y’all did not disappoint! Tune in for Charles’s thoughts things like: moving on after a breakup, how much men share with their friends, and whether you can tell your partner you don’t like their gifts.
Episode #185 - The First SATC Theories One
Ali & Erica switch it up this week with a new episode format: discussing scenes from Sex And The City and how they apply to life today (complete with some voice acting!). We discuss lending money to friends, whether friends can be your true soulmates, & what to do if you hate going down.
Episode #184 - The ShrinkChicks One ft. Jennifer Chaiken & Emmalee Bierly
Erica & Ali could not HELP but let this interview with ShrinkChicks (aka Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT & Emmalee Bierly, LMFT) run a bit long because, y’all, it is incredible. The foursome starts off discussing how difficult it can be to find a therapist and offer some advice for navigating that journey. Then, we move into our most popular listener submission: boundaries and conflict. What is a boundary, anyway? How best to set one to invite closeness (because it turns out that’s what boundaries are for!)? Is there a right way to handle conflict in any type of relationship? And so much more.
Episode #183 - The Fifteenth Hot Topics One
Erica & Ali are back answering your questions in a Hot Topics episode this week! We counsel a listener who is nervous about having sex for the first time. Then, a listener is struggling with a guy who’s chronically late and recently stood her up. Third, Erica gives advice on navigating a herpes disclosure in your relationship. And finally, a listener isn’t feeling cared for by the guy she’s dating.
Episode #182 - The Second Debate Team On
We’re back with another debate team episode, where Ali & Erica debate topics submitted by our listeners! We’ve got four topics up for debate this week. Let us know where you stand! Marathon dates early in the game – yay or nay? Is it okay to be late for a date? Can you date someone you work with? And finally, should you go ring shopping with your partner before getting engaged?
Episode #181 - The Emotionally Online One ft. Maddie Dragsbaek
Straight from your guest suggestions, we have Maddie Dragsbaek, host of the Emotionally Online podcast, in an amazing episode this week! Maddie has been opening up about her life online since before podcasts were a thing and this week is no exception. Our conversation focuses first on her bisexuality – what exploring that both privately and publicly has looked like, her advice for anyone thinking they might be bi, and her experience taking dating off the apps and into the real world. We then dive into dating as a fat woman – her tips for approaching dating online and if she sees a difference when dating women vs men.
Episode #180 - The First Updates One
Erica & Ali have so many updates to share this week that we did an episode full of them (plus a lot of girl talk in between)! Erica is fresh off her third date with Tony Soprano and is on the fence about a fourth (until she accidentally pushes herself off). The gals get into a great discussion about the frustration of someone being “good on paper” and how to know when to cut something off. Meanwhile, Ali celebrates two milestones with Skyline – 3 months of dating that happens to coincide with a tough day for her, plus 3 (not so) little words. If you liked this style episode, you’ll love our Patreon! Join at www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.
Episode #179 - The Attachment Solution One ft. Charisse Cooke
Psychotherapist Charisse Cooke is back on the pod this week and Erica & Ali could have talked to her for hours! Our conversation focuses on attachment theory, answering listener questions such as how to self soothe an anxious attachment, best strategies for navigating an anxious/avoidant dynamic, and why avoidant attachment gets such a bad rap.
Episode #178 - The Cheating One ft. Chloe Radcliffe
We hear about cheating a lot, but it’s rarely from the perspective of the person who does the cheating. This week, standup comedian Chloe Radcliffe opens up about her pattern of cheating (which she wrote a solo show about!). We dive into her thoughts on the origins of cheating, what she’s learned from her pattern and is applying in her new relationship, and so much more culminating in a round of rapid-fire Debate Team!
Episode #177 - The Second Past Beliefs One
We had so much fun talking about our past beliefs the other week that we’re bringing it back for a series including your submissions! We discuss submissions such as “your person will complete you,” “trying hard isn’t cool,” and “you should share many common hobbies with your partner.” Let us know if you like this series and submit more of your past beliefs for future episodes!
Episode #176 - Storytime: Dating With Depression
Ali & Erica are joined this week by Kelly, a listener who wrote in to share her story about dating with depression & anxiety. Kelly shares her journey towards getting diagnosed, how depression impacted her dating, & what growing in her first serious relationship has been like. It’s a powerful, relatable story that we can’t wait to share.
Episode #175 - The First Past Beliefs One
We asked for your submissions about dating philosophies or “rules” you used to believe, but don’t anymore, and WOW did you deliver! So much so that we’ll be continuing this topic in future episodes. We’re starting this week with things that Ali & Erica used to believe, but don’t anymore, such as: when you know you know, men should ask women out for the second date, don’t save phone numbers until you’re official, and more.
Episode #174 -The First Debate Team One
We’re debuting a new segment on the pod this week…Debate Team! Ali & Erica will each be assigned a side of a debate and debate each other. This week, we’re starting with “should you live together before getting engaged?” and “can you be friends with an ex?” It gets especially fun when we have to argue for the side we don’t actually agree with!
Episode #173 - The Date Brazen One ft. Lily Womble
Erica & Ali welcome feminist dating coach and debut author Lily Womble to the pod this week! We chat about bringing more joy into your dating life, how to narrow down your search to what Lily calls essences-based preferences, and how to reframe your mindset when you feel like you’re “too much.” Order Lily’s book, Thank You More Please, out June 11th!
Episode #172 - The Fourteenth Hot Topics One
It’s a slightly new Hot Topics format, with both listener questions and a couple AITA situations. First, Ali & Erica debate if a man is the a-hole for not helping his wife carry things in from the car and whether a women is the a-hole for not giving up her comfy coffee shop chair. Then, we answer two listener questions: one listener who is concerned about her date’s grooming choices and one who is worried about potential dating prospects in her smaller city.
Episode #171 - The FMH Feedback One
We asked for feedback and you delivered!! This week, Ali & Erica are going through the biggest takeaways and themes from our podcast survey and previewing what’s to come for the future of the pod. We dig deep on our own opportunities for growth, taking into account both what the listeners shared as well as our own reflections. It’s a vulnerable conversation that we can’t wait for you to hear!
Episode #170 - The Second Therapy Jeff One ft. Jeff Guenther
Back by popular demand, Therapy Jeff (aka Jeff Guenther, LPC) is on the pod answering your burning questions. We dive into topics such as: what does it mean if I attract emotionally available people? How to approach pre-marital counseling? What does it mean to “settle” and how do I know if I am? As always, Jeff’s advice is on point with some laughs along the way.
Episode #169 - The Deeper Questions One
Erica & Ali are getting deep this week, going through all sorts of questions you can use to connect on first dates, in early dating, or even when already in a relationship. We’re answering our favorite ones plus listing a few you probably shouldn’t ask. Let’s start having some more interesting conversations!
Episode #168 - The A Little Nudge One ft. Erika Ettin
Erica & Ali are diving into the apps with dating coach & app expert Erika Ettin of @alittlenudge. We talk about whether it really matters what opener you send (hint: YES), how to deal with dating app burnout, and why Erika recommends dating NATO (not attached to outcome).
Episode #167 - The Roundup One
Erica & Ali are bouncing around in a roundup episode this week, chatting about recent dating-related news items. First, we have some updates from last week’s ep! Then, we dive into the risks of buying a house with someone you’re not married to (Tom & Ariana, anyone?) and discuss why dating apps have been on a downswing.
Episode #166 - The Female Friendships One ft. Danielle Bayard Jackson
Ali & Erica are back for another episode about friendship, featuring incredible friendship coach, Danielle Bayard Jackson! Danielle’s upcoming book, Fighting for Our Friendships, is all about the science behind women’s relationships and she brings us SO much knowledge: from deepening your bond with an acquaintance, to the influence our friends have on our romantic relationships, to how we should romance our friends, too.
Episode #165 - The First Date One
Ali & Erica have a first date guide for you this week! We’re breaking down everything you need to know: getting from dating app convo to date, pre-date texting guidelines, first date arrival logistics, conversation tips to avoid and awkwardness, and so much more.
Episode #164 - The Ick One
Have you ever gotten the ick from a match or a date? Ali & Erica have rounded up all sorts of icks from the listeners and we’re debating them on this week’s episode. It’s a fun and silly one this week!
Episode #163 - The Pretty Much Done One ft. Julia Mazur
Have you ever considered picking up and moving to a new city? Julia Mazur, host of the Pretty Much Done podcast, did just that. Having spent her whole life in Los Angeles, she moved to Austin after a break up and has never been happier. And, in addition, to her move, we get into a great discussion about hyper-independence and how it can affect relationships. It’s a conversation you don’t want to miss!
Episode #162 - The Thirteenth Hot Topics One
Ali & Erica are back with questions submitted by you, the listeners! We start with the age-old question: should you give a ghost a second chance? Then, a listener has a crush at work – how can she get this man on a date? Or should she give up? And lastly, we advise a listener who is about to visit a long-distance situationship.
Episode #161 - The Ask A Matchmaker One ft. Maria Avgitidis
Your calls have been answered…Matchmaker Maria is back on the pod!! We’re answering all sorts of listener questions, Ask A Matchmaker style. For example: how do you balance a hoe phase with dating intentionally? What should you learn about someone before sleeping with them? And so much more…
Episode #160 - The Meeting IRL One
How do people meet IRL these days?! Are there things we can be doing, places we can going, openers we can be using to make it all feel easier? This week, Ali & Erica are breaking down their best tips on meeting people “in the wild” plus sharing some of yours. We cover everything from body language when you’re out alone to opening lines for a cute stranger to going in for the number exchange.
Episode #159 - The Hello Hayes One ft. Alexandra Hayes
Ali & Erica are welcoming an advice column legend to the pod this week…it’s Hello Hayes, answering all your questions about friendships! We start by diving into her Six Besties Theory and then get to your questions – ranging from navigating a friendship breakup to feeling like the odd one out in your friend group.
Episode #158 - The Test Test Manifest One
Dating apps getting sued? Financial columnist scammed out of $50k? Ali & Erica reading a book about manifesting? We’re rounding up the week’s most unbelievable stories on this week’s episode. Tune in for our (non-lawyer) verdicts on the dating app case, our advice for future scam attempts, and the kickoff to the next few weeks of attempting to manifest using the book E-Squared by Pam Grout.
Episode #157 - The Twelfth Hot Topics One
Ali & Erica are answering your questions this week! First, a listener worries she’s slipping into a FWB situation. Next, we give advice for letting someone know you’re newly single (hint: do not use the company Slack). Next, a listener wonders why her first dates keep getting “friends only” vibes from her – is she doing something wrong? And lastly, a listener in a long distance relationship struggles to bring up something she found in her boyfriend’s apartment.
Episode #156 - The Third Fertility One ft. Jordana Abraham
Ali & Erica are continuing our fertility series with a third installment this week, welcoming Jordana Abraham back to the pod. In this deeply vulnerable episode, Jordana opens up about her fertility journey navigating pregnancy loss and the IVF process. We discuss the emotional toll this has taken and how she’s handled each step along the way.
Episode #155 - The First Race & Dating One
Ali & Erica are starting a long-awaited series, race and dating, and we kick things off as Erica interviews Ali about her experiences as a multiracial woman. Ali relates what it was like growing up in mostly-white spaces, how that impacted her world (and self) view, and ultimately her dating life. We look forward to more episodes in the future digging into various aspects of this vast topic!
Episode #154 - The F The Fairytale One ft. Damona Hoffman
Ali & Erica welcome an OG of dating advice to the pod this week – Damona Hoffman, author of the new book “F The Fairytale” and host of the Dates & Mates podcast. We get into topics such as Damona’s best tips for dating mindset, how the online dating landscape has changed in her 15 years of coaching, and how race has played a role in her own dating life (and Ali weighs in too!).
Episode #153 - The Fifth Ask A 30-Something Man One
Ali & Erica are joined by Zach, a 30-something man whose friends are managing his Hinge profile. We talk about how (and why) this arrangement came to be plus what he’s learned from having someone else set up his dates. And, has it been a success? Listen and find out!
Episode #152 - The Birth Order One
Should firstborns always date lastborns? Are lastborn-lastborn relationships doomed? Or does it even matter? We’re finding out in this week’s episode, using research from around the web plus listener experiences (and our own!). Plus, a listener calls in with a PSA about gift card scams.
Episode #151 - The Eleventh Hot Topics One
Ali & Erica are answering your questions in a Hot Topics episode this week! First, a listener has a crush on a friend of a friend…does he like her back? Second, a listener wonders how to know if she’s experiencing the slow burn or just a lack of attraction. Lastly, a listener runs into an ex while on a date. Should she reach out?
Episode #150 - The Have Him At Hello One
Ali & Erica are reviewing the first dating book Ali ever read (15 years ago!!) this week – Have Him At Hello by Rachel Greenwald. The author interviewed 1,000 men about why they didn’t want second dates and we’re debating how her findings apply to modern dating. Ali & Erica both identify (mostly) with The Boss Lady…how about you?
Episode #149 - The Masculinity One ft. Rachel Sievers, M.S.
What is masculinity, anyway? How can you identify someone with healthy masculinity? How about someone who wants to equitably divide the mental load of a relationship? Rachel Sievers, M.S. – retired psychotherapist and host of The Answer To Everything Podcast – is here to help.
Episode #148 - The Smart Dating One ft. Bela Gandhi
Bela Gandhi, dating coach and founder of Smart Dating Academy, joins us this week to answer your questions! Tune in to find out why she insists her clients do video dates before IRL dates, one of the steps in her tried and true method to help her clients find partnership, particularly later in life or after divorce.
Episode #147 - The 2023 Wrapped One
How did 2023 go for us? We’re breaking it down this week. How many first dates did we go on? What lessons did we learn? And did we succeed at “more kissing, less crying”?? Plus, we’re sharing what you, the listeners, learned this year.
Episode #146 - The Mother Daughter One
In honor of our recently-launched mother/daughter trip to Portugal, Ali & Erica have invited their moms on the show! We’re answering your questions: everything from who our moms think we should date to their best tips for lasting relationships. Get a glimpse into our relationships before the trip and learn more about the itinerary at the links in either of our IG bios. We’re staying in the heart of Lisbon and then journeying down the Algarve coast in October 2024!
Episode #145 - The Gifts For Men One ft. Sebastian Conelli & Robbie Nunes
It’s that time of year where we all agonize over what to get the men in our lives, whether they’re partners, brothers, sons, or friends. So Ali & Erica sat down with Sebastian Conelli & Robbie Nunes, co-hosts of the Loud About Nothing podcast, to talk gifts. The four of us reveal the best (and worst) gifts we’ve ever gotten plus brainstorm ideas for you to use yourself!
Episode #144 - The Marry Him One
Are you too picky? Ali & Erica aim to find out this week as we dive into a book that regularly makes the rounds on social media: “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb. We discuss things that used to be dealbreakers but aren’t any more, whether women need to “settle” more, and how we each navigate our preferences in dating.
Episode #143 - The Waiting for Marriage One ft. Paul Schissler
Are you waiting for marriage? Or just curious what dating is like for someone who is? Comedian (and Erica’s former roommate – literally, ROOMmate) Paul Schissler joins us to chat about his journey doing just that. We answer listener questions ranging from when to divulge to people you’re dating to how to ensure you’re on the same page with what post-marriage intimacy might look like.
Episode #142 - The Different Cities One
Have you ever thought that your city is the worst for dating? Turns out most of our listeners do…so Ali & Erica are putting that to the test this week. We’re “traveling” to different cities in our dating apps and reporting back on our findings – plus sharing feedback from the listeners! Did we skip your city? Let us know at findingmrheight.com/podcast.
Episode #141 - The Second Fertility One ft Dr. Peter Klatsky
We’re back with the second installment of our fertility series, interviewing a very special guest – Erica’s doctor at Spring Fertility, Dr. Peter Klatsky! We start out by busting a few fertility myths and then get into questions from our listeners! Dr. Klatsky advises us on selecting a fertility provider, pulls back the curtain on egg freezing statistics, and so much more.
Episode #140 - The Tenth Hot Topics One
Ali & Erica are taking listener questions (and bring back Weird or Nah!) in this week’s Hot Topics episode. First, we debate a listener’s screenshot dilemma and discuss setting boundaries in early dating. Then, we discuss how (or if) to tell a friend you think she’s settling. And finally, a listener writes in for advice on working with her ex who is dating someone new.
Episode #139 - The UnF*ck Your Brain One ft. Kara Loewentheil
Are you supervising your brain? Do you even know how? Kara Loewentheil, J.D., Master Certified Coach, and host of the UnF*ck Your Brain podcast is here to help. On this week’s episode, we explore topics of anxiety, particularly in the bedroom, and how to navigate through them. Kara explains how she worked to re-train her thoughts and we dive into how socialization impacts how we think.
Episode #138 - The Life Coach One ft. Rachelle Indra
Are you skeptical about life coaches? Rachelle Indra, who literally is one herself, was too! Ali & Erica are truly enthralled by her insights this week, so much so that we actually had to FORCE ourselves to end the interview. In particular, we dive deep into moving through heartbreak & healing going into a new relationship. We also touch on balancing self compassion with accountability and how to avoid toxic positivity – while remaining positive.
Episode #137 - The r/AskMen One
What do men wish women knew about them?? Well, we asked them for you (and pulled even more insights from around the internet). We hear about things like: avoiding subtlety/hints, how men don’t want to keep chasing you, and gosh darnit it’s nice to be the little spoon sometimes!
Episode #136 - The City Confessions One ft. Mariann Yip
Have you wondered what the transition is like from single and dating to being in a relationship? Author and lifestyle blogger Mariann Yip is telling Ali & Erica all about how she went from publishing a book about her NYC dating life to starting a family…all within a year! We chat about first dates, feeling lonely in parenthood, and letting go of what you thought your timeline would be.
Episode #135 - The Tenth Grab Bag One
Ali & Erica are taking rapid fire listener questions this week in the latest Grab Bag episode! Topics range from defining “exclusive” vs “official,” determining if someone is ready to date, setting boundaries with advice from friends, to ending a date.
Episode #134 - The 37 & Single One ft. Jared Freid
Jared Freid is fresh off his hilarious Netflix special, 37 & Single, and answering your listener questions! What’s the right way to set two people up? Are there certain dating app answers he hates seeing? And many more, followed by what might be our new favorite game: Pick The Ick.
Episode #133 - The Fiscal Femme One ft. Ashley Feinstein Gertsley
We’re talking finances this week, with Ashley Feinstein Gertsley, CFP and founder of The Fiscal Femme. Are you wondering where/how to start investing? And if you’re even ready to do that? Or maybe you’re trying to create and stick to a spending plan. Ali & Erica learn some things too as we dive into all things money.
Episode #132 - The Hypothetical One
If you knew you’d meet the person you’re going to marry in 5 years, would you still date? Would you rather win the lottery or find your soulmate? Ali & Erica debate some fun dating hypotheticals this week. Tune in for what Erica would say to a room full of people she’s slept with and why Ali would just break into song.
Episode #131 - The Ninth Hot Topics One
Ali & Erica are back with in-depth listener questions, otherwise known as Hot Topics! This week, we discuss: reaching back out to someone you rejected (or always wondering what if), managing emotions when someone you’re dating updates their app profile, & who should initiate a first date.
Episode #130.5 - The Bonus One
This bonus episode features an exclusive Patreon preview to stay on track with Ali and Erica’s dating updates. Ali recaps an awkward first date that never seems to end, while Erica finds herself in a scenario where she’s fighting her instincts.
Episode #130 - Listener Storytime: Sexual Assault
TRIGGER WARNING This episode centers around sexual assault.
This week, we welcome on two incredible listeners to tell their stories. They each offer a deep perspective on both their experiences and their lives since – we can’t thank them enough for their vulnerability. If you’re out there resonating with this episode, please know you are not alone. There are no updates from Ali & Erica in this episode – stay tuned for a Patreon teaser later this week.
Episode #129 - The Men Love Bitches One
Episode #128 - The Wedding Etiquette One ft. Roark
She’sssss backkkkkk!!!!! Ali & Erica welcome former FMH cohost Roark back onto the pod as our guest this week. With Ali fresh off a bachelorette party, the three dive into wedding etiquette (especially wedding guest etiquette). Can you ask for a plus one? When is it appropriate to leave a wedding? And for goodness sake, can we please stop trying to wear white??
Episode #127 - The Jewish Matchmaking One ft. Pamela Rae Schuller
Pamela Rae Schuller is more than one thing – she’s more than Tourette Syndrome, she’s more than her stint on Jewish Matchmaking, and she’s encouraging you to embrace your whole self, too. Together, we cover a wide range of topics, including dating with a disability, matchmaking, and achieving self-love.
Episode #126 - The Wedding Toast One
For those of you who don’t know us…we’re sharing do’s and don’ts on wedding speeches, from both our own experiences and yours! How long should they be? Are certain topics off limits? And can anything be worse than a 45-minute lecture on the Boy Scout motto??
Episode #125 - The Embarrassing One
Things take a lighter turn this week, as Ali & Erica pull back the curtain on past embarrassing dating moments…and share yours! We crack up over everything from first date stomach issues to surprise queefs.
Episode #124 - the first fertility one
Episode #123 - The Oversharing One ft. Jordana Abraham & Dr. Naomi Bernstein
We’re oversharing this week! Ali & Erica welcome Jordana Abraham & Dr. Naomi Bernstein of the Oversharing podcast to the FMH family this week. The four answer several deep-dive listener questions including: how to maintain hope when early-stage dating keeps ending, approaching the engagement conversation with a partner, and deciding whether something is a dealbreaker.
Episode #122 - The Marrying For Money One
Have you ever thought about marrying for money? Ali & Erica can’t help you with that, but we’re breaking down some financial stats that may surprise you when it comes to getting married vs not. And spoiler alert, there’s way more on the topic where this came from. Let us know what else you want to hear!
Episode #121 - The Second Herpes One ft. Ella Dawson
Why are STIs so stigmatized despite being so common? Ella Dawson, whose TEDx talk on the subject has been viewed over 800,000 times, is here to talk about about it. We discuss disclosing herpes (or any STI) to your partner, supporting a partner who’s been diagnosed, advocating for yourself at doctor’s appointments, and so much more.
Episode #120 - The Ninth Grab Bag One
We’re answering listener questions rapid-fire style in another grab bag episode! We cover everything from feeling clingy in a long-distance relationship, to Hinge messaging etiquette, to balancing your needs with your partner’s.
Episode #119 - the first kids one
We’re kicking off a multi-episode series on children! We’ll spread these episodes out, and invite guests on, covering how your desire to have kids affects dating, dating with kids, choosing a child-free lifestyle, fertility…and so much more. This week, we start with Erica & Ali’s personal thoughts on having children and how it’s impact their dating lives (plus we take your questions!).
Episode #118 - The Swipe Fat One ft. Alex Stewart & Nicci Nunez
This week, we’re talking plus-sized dating with Alex Stewart & Nicci Nunez of the Swipe Fat podcast!! We take listener questions about tips for your dating app profile, achieving self confidence while dating, red flags to look for, and so much more. Note: Erica’s wifi gave her major issues this week and so Ali interviews Alex & Nicci on her own.
Episode #117 - The Speaking In Thumbs One ft. Dr. Mimi Winsberg
Let’s talk about text, baby…this week, we welcome Dr. Mimi Winsberg to the pod, a board-certified psychiatrist with over 25 years of clinical experience and author of Speaking in Thumbs. We dive into research on text communication and practical ways you can apply it to your dating life.
Episode #116 - The 30s Wisdom One
What have we learned about dating (and life) since our 20s? Where do we even begin?? Ali & Erica share go through listener submissions of life lessons since their 20s and add in thoughts of our own. It’s the big sister chat you’ve been asking for!
Episode #115 - The Dating App Fatigue One
Are you tired? Because Ali & Erica are VERY tired. Of dating apps, that is. This week, we hold space for all of your (and our) fatigue with dating on our phones – from matches turned penpals, to empty profiles, to feeling like we’re on a hamster wheel. It’s tough out there and we feel your pain!
Episode #114 - The Diet Starts Tomorrow One ft. Emily Lubin
TW: This episode addresses disordered eating and intentional weight loss. It’s an extremely vulnerable episode this week as Erica and Ali welcome Emily Lubin, of the Diet Starts Tomorrow and RIP Diets podcasts. Emily opens up about her recovery from disordered eating and the path she’s taken to get there. She shares how her struggle impacted her relationships and gives advice for navigating dating while in recovery.
Episode #113 - The Eighth Hot Topics One
Ali & Erica are diving into listener questions this week! First, a listener is frustrated at a first date who says they’re going to follow up and doesn’t. Second, we give advice to a listener who has a crush on her friend (and hope for updates!). Lastly, we dive into early dating communication. What should we “expect” and how should we communicate that?
Episode #112 - The Dating Intentionally One ft. Talia Koren
Are you trying to go on more dates this year? How about 200? Talia Koren, otherwise known as @dating.intentionally, joins FMH this week to tell Ali & Erica all about her journey from a breakup to a healthy relationship. She went on 200 dates in less than a year and shares the most important things she learned along the way!
Episode #111 - The Cheating Quiz One
Do you think everyone defines cheating the same way? We’re finding out this week, inspired by a Buzzfeed quiz that one of our listeners sent in! Erica and Ali each reveal how their Instagram audiences voted on each situation and discuss the results.
Episode #110 - The Fourth Ask A 30-Something Man One
It’s our fourth Ask A Man interview, featuring Erica’s close friend, the hilarious Jourdain Fisher. This one starts out spicy with some O-related listener polls and then we move on to peppering Jourdain with questions. And our producer Mike gets involved too! It’s a fun one all around.
Episode #109 - Storytime: Plus-Sized Fitness & Dating
*CW: This episode centers on body image and mentions intentional weight loss & disordered eating. We continue our Storytime series highlighting listener stories with Heather Boddy, a plus-size fitness professional who shares her journey with body image. The three of us dive into what fitness means to her (and what it does not), her best tips for hyping up our friends in their own journeys, and much more.
Episode #108 - The Profile Prompts One
How’s your dating app prompt game? Ali & Erica are here to help you step it up as they brainstorm their best answers to popular prompts! You’ll be starting better conversations in no time.
Episode #107 - The Non-Monogamy One ft. Rachel Wright
Don’t think you can relate to non-monogamy? Psychotherapist Rachel Wright just might change your mind. We talk about how relationship frameworks are changing, her personal journey from monogamy to non-monogamy, the difference between rules and agreements (and how to determine them), plus much more from listener questions!
Episode #106 - The We Met At Acme One ft. Lindsey Metselaar
We Met At Acme host Lindsey Metselaar joins Finding Mr. Height this week! We debate a slew of Weird or Nah and Mythbusters submissions, then dive into what Lindsey’s learned from marriage and her journey with being sober. We wrap things up with some stellar dating app banter suggestions, pulled straight from your Hinge submissions.
Episode #105 - The Dating Etiquette One
By popular demand, Erica & Ali are debating etiquette “rules” from New York’s Magazine recent article. We tackle things like “never purposefully wake up your significant other” and “you can tell any lie to leave a drinks date early.” And we get your opinions on them too! It’s a fun one all around.
Episode #104 - The Somatic Coaching One ft. Lauren Zoeller
This week is chock-full of practical nuggets as we welcome somatic relationship coach Lauren Zoeller to the pod. Together, we break down her nervous-system-based approach to coaching and even do some group exercises that you can follow along with at home. We’re all feeling a little less anxious after this one!
Episode #103 - The First Dating Theories One
Erica and Ali are back with our second installment of debating dating theories! This week, we cover theories like “if it’s not a f*** yes, it’s a f***no,” whether we’re more likely to value someone who “made us work for it,” and more.
Episode #102 - The First Dating Theories One
It’s time for a debate! A TikTok dating theories debate, that is. This week, we’ve found some popular theories to discuss, including red nail theory, having a “roster,” coffee as a first date, and manifesting your perfect partner.
Episode #101 - The Plastic Surgery One
It’s a longgg awaited topic on FMH – plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures. We dive into the shift in recent statistics in these areas and how the last few years have shifted all of our perceptions of ourselves. Then, we get personal, both sharing our own experiences with plastic surgery and how we feel about it years later.
Episode #100 - The tinder live one ft. lane more
Have you ever swiped on a dating app in a group of friends and felt a sense of community in your shared experiences? Our guest this week, Lane Moore, brings that feeling to the stage in her hilarious Tinder Live shows. We chat about green (and red) flags on a dating app profile and share our best tips!
Episode #99 - The Seventh Hot Topics One
We’re back with our latest Hot Topics, where we answer listener questions from our submission form! This week, we start out with a motion-sickness-related AITA. We then advise a listener on communication in between a second and third date, analyze a drawn-out dating app conversation, and discuss how to frame when you’re taking a break from work.
Episode #98 - The Third Ask A 30-Something Man One
Ask and you shall receive…it’s Ali’s brother on the pod! Drake (no, not *that* Drake) joins us for our third installment of Ask A Thirty-Something Man and we answer a ton of listener questions ranging from how guys – or at least Drake – feel about a woman asking them out to whether “bad timing” is just an excuse.
Episode #97 - The dating wrapped one
You’ve seen the videos all over social media…for our last podcast of the year, we are bringing you our own FMH version of Dating Wrapped! We share YOUR annual dating stats plus review our own year in dating, including how many first dates we went on, how many we actually wanted second dates with, and how many went…further. We wrap things up with our dating goals for 2023, informed by what we’ve learned from this year!
Episode #96 - the first storytime one
We’re introducing a new series on Finding Mr. Height…Storytime! Where we’ll hear from listeners as they share their stories and the lessons they’ve learned. *Update – This previous Storytime guest has requested to be removed from the episode for identity purposes. This episode is now updates only. To submit to be a Storytime guest please see the submission form below. We’d also like to reminder everyone that you can be a guest AND remain anonymous if you’d like. We truly appreciate all your submissions.
Episode #95 - the second dating definitions one
Dating Definitions is back for round two! We continue last week’s discussion, starting with the wiiiiiild number of ghosting-adjacent terminologies. Who knew haunting and orbiting were different? And what is a sneaky link? Or a groundhog?
Episode #94 - the first dating definitions one
If you were hoping to hear us get fired up over the definitions of made-up words…your wait is over. This week begins our series on dating definitions and we kick things off with debating why all these definitions even exist.
Episode #93 - the dating after trauma one ft. allyson roberts
*TRIGGER WARNING* This episode contains accounts of sexual assault. If you’d like to avoid, stop listening around minute 48 (we say trigger warning within the audio as well). Ali & Erica welcome cognitive behavior expert Allyson Roberts (@allysonroberts_ on TikTok & IG) onto the pod this week.
Episode #92 - the dating app openers one
Hey, listeners! Big question for you…what’s your favorite dating app opener? We’re sharing ours this week (and Erica has an idea that Ali just might steal) plus a few that you submitted! From keeping things interesting (even when they might not be) to dealing with an empty profile, this episode has got you covered.
Episode #91 - the chaotic singles one ft. cassidy davis
Finding Mr. Height is getting chaotic this week…chaotically single, that is. It’s our first in-person guest interview where we sit down (on lawn chairs in Ali’s empty apartment – apologies for the slight echo) with Cassidy Davis (@casidynashdavis), creator and host of the Chaotic Singles Parties you’ve seen all over TikTok.
Episode #90 - the introducing erica one
It’s Erica’s first official episode as Finding Mr. Height’s new cohost! We’re kicking things off with an introduction for the listeners using questions *from* the listeners.
Episode #89 - the farewell one
And…that’s a wrap for Roark! Ali & Roark sit down for the last time to record her final episode. Emotions were high during this interview-style episode where Ali peppered Roark with questions from the listeners.
Episode #88 - the judging one ft. adam & evan
it’s a podcast collab between Ali & Roark and Adam & Evan of the “I’ll Be the Judge of That” pod. The four debate common dating scenarios and ask – “can you?” Like – can you get engaged at another person’s party? You’ll hear just about every perspective on this episode.
Episode #87- The First Cheating One
Shockingly, Ali & Roark haven’t dedicated a podcast to the topic of cheating yet. Today changes that. They start by discussing a well-known dating question: once a cheater always a cheater?
Episode #86- The Eighth Grab Bag One ft. Therapy Jeff
Jeff joins the podcast for a Grab Bag episode that covers everything from the “ick” to the honeymoon phase to sleeping with someone “too early” to liking bad boys (and girls)!
Episode #85- The Sixth Hot Topics One
They answer listener questions about noticing a new dating prospect pulling away, feeling uncomfortable with a date’s alcohol consumption, and deciding whether to continue seeing someone when there is a complicated past.
Episode #84- The Second Finances One Ft. Nicole Lapin
Ali records with author and financial expert Nicole Lapin this week. They talk about how finances can affect relationships and cover topics ranging from pre-nups, developing “FQ” (aka financial intelligence) & so much more!
Episode #83- The First Finances One
Thoughts and prayers to Ali & Roark this week as they wade into the murky waters of dating and finances. Money can be quite the taboo topic and they hope to start breaking that down by discussing sensitive questions.
Episode #82- The Fifth Hot Topics One
Ali & Roark tackle three Hot Topics: asking your partner to plan more dates, handling a partner’s job opportunity in another country, and whether to date a virgin.
Episode #81- The Breakup Bestie One ft. Kendra Allen
This week, Ali & Roark chat with Kendra Allen aka Your Break Up Bestie! They talk all about actionable steps to recover from a break up, and they dive into Kendra’s new book, “The Break-Up Workbook.”
Episode #80- The Manifesting One ft. Haley Hoffman Smith
Ali & Roark welcome Haley Hoffman Smith to the podcast to talk all about manifesting. Haley is an author, podcaster, and manifestation coach and breaks down the concepts for Ali, Roark, and the listeners.
Episode #79- The Second Career One
This week they’re talking about skills that make someone a good manager, how to be intentional in your career, and navigating imposter syndrome.
Episode #78- The Seventh Grab Bag One
They answer a variety of questions such as double-messaging on dating apps, dating someone who still co-habitates with their ex, how to respond when your new partner “drops a bomb,” and dealing with a bad first kiss.
Episode #77- The First Career One
They share their very different career paths and start answering some listener questions about finding mentors, asking for a raise, and developing work/life balance.
Episode #76- The Second Ask a 30-Something Man One
Ali & Roark welcome the next “30-something man,” who happens to be Mr. Nobody. He answers questions about being friends with exes, date prep, feeling ready for exclusivity, and picking someone up IRL.
Episode #75- The Second Bad Date One
They analyze what a “bad date” even is and how to determine if you’re on one, and how to navigate asking for a date to be over, or how to get out a second date you don’t want to go on.
Episode #74- The Matchmaker Maria One ft. Maria Avgitidis
It’s a super-sized episode this week because Ali & Roark have way too much to talk about with Matchmaker Maria! Maria Avgitidis is the CEO of Agape Match and the host of the “Ask a Matchmaker” podcast.
Episode #73- The First Bad Date One
Time to talk about bad dates! We have all had them, and this week, Ali & Roark share their absolute worst date stories (Ali’s is a real doozie).
Episode #72- The Fourth Hot Topics One
Hot Topics are back as Ali & Roark go in depth with three listener questions. Hot Topics include: a guy who calls his ex his “girlfriend” when he tells stories that involve her; whether a listener is being too hard on her cute neighbor’s social media presence; and more!
Episode #71- The Dating After Cancer One ft. Melissa Berry
Ali & Roark are joined by the Cancer Fashionista Melissa Berry to start the conversation about two big topics – dating after cancer and dating after 40.
Episode #70- The Third Hot Topics One
The conflict series comes to a close (for now) as Ali & Roark discuss conflict resolution. They discuss defensiveness, saying “sorry,” when to compromise, and using relationship check-ins to keep lines of communication open.
Episode #69- The Friendship One ft. Jillian Richardson
They discuss navigating conflict with friends, how to make new friends, friend “break ups,” and overall celebrate the complexity of female friendships!
Episode #68- The Second Conflict One
The conflict series has turned into a trilogy – because of course it has. On this episode, Ali & Roark answer questions listeners sent in after the First Conflict One, including: how to make conflict healthier, how to confront “unsolvable” problems, and how to deal with recurring arguments on the same topic.
Episode #67- The Matchmaking One ft. Chi Love
Chi (@nyalovebychi) runs her own matchmaking business and is here to answer all our listeners’ questions and how to be your own matchmaker!
Episode #66- The First Conflict One
First, they discuss when they think it’s worth bringing up a topic that could cause conflict. Then, they focus on how to handle hard conversations like when you feel like you might shut down, what happens if you cry through it, and do you re-open the conversation if you think of something else to say later.
Episode #65- The First Ask a 30-Something Man One
Matt tackles a variety of different questions like what makes a profile “swipe-able,” whether men tend to be intimidated by smart women, and if men want women to offer to pick up the check.
Episode #64- The FMH Glossary One
Covering all the major exes that are worthy of a nickname. They hope this will be a good reference episode in case you’ve missed any relationship origin stories.
Episode #63- The Dating With Herpes One ft. Erica Spera
Erica brings her vulnerability and humor to the pod to share her experience dating with herpes, bust herpes myths, and answer listener questions like when and how to disclose with a new partner.
Episode #62- The Third Hot Topics One
They start with a question about friends who choose to stay friends with your ex. Then, they tackle a question about disclosing *your own* red flags.
Episode #61- The Closure One ft. Abby Medcalf
The focus of the conversation is closure – what is it, why do we want it, and how can we get – but Abby goes much further and they probably could have talked for hours because she is so darn lovely and interesting.
Episode #60- The Astrology One ft. Aliza Kelly
They discuss topics like what does it really mean to have a particular sign? Is your sun sign the be all end all? And should we *really* not date THAT sign (you know which one we mean)?
Episode #59- The First Long Distance One
They take a few listener questions about how to *date* long distance (how to be in a relationship long distance will be saved for a later episode).
Episode #58- The Dating After Divorce One ft. Desiree Simone
Desiree offers her perspective on sharing your divorce story with a new partner, and, if you’re dating someone who is divorced, how to discuss it with them without being invasive.
Episode #57- The Sixth Grab Bag One
In this round of Grab Bag questions, they tackle dating as an introvert, breaking up with someone you live with, whether an age gap is too much to overcome in dating and many more!
Episode #56- The Lovebombing One ft. Meghan Wainwright
Meghan talks about what it felt like to experience a “whirlwind” romance and the moments that gave her pause and the red flags she should have seen more clearly.
Episode #55- The Chronic Illness One ft. Gigi Robinson
The three discuss how to tell others about a chronic illness, how to hype yourself up when your body image isn’t at its best, and how to know you’re “enough.”
Episode #54- The Gaslighting One
They analyze how the term has become vastly overused in a way that can sometimes undermine how genuinely serious real gaslighting is.
Episode #53- The Timeline One ft. Laura Behnke
Laura Behnke didn’t have a relationship until she was 35, and she comes on the pod to say “who cares” to following anyone’s timeline but your own. The three discuss embracing your life without a partner, being fully yourself on dates, and much more!
Episode #52- The First Love Language One
They walk through the five different love languages, then discuss the utility of the framework, its shortcomings, and their own experiences sharing their love languages and receiving their partners’.
Episode #51- The Widowed Mom One ft. Krista St. Germain
Krista and Ali talk about losing a partner, moving forward and dating again, and how to integrate grief.
Episode #50- The Therapy Jeff one ft. Jeff Guenther
You may recognize Jeff from your TikTok FYP. He is incredible at doling out bite-sized relationship advice you absolutely need to hear, and Ali & Roark think you’ll love this episode.
Episode #49- The Second Hot Topics One
Answering questions like burn out from solid first dates that don’t turn into seconds dates & more!
Episode #48- The Third Breakup One ft. Amy Chan
Amy used her own breakup as a catalyst to change her life and she shares with Finding Mr. Height listeners how to come out of a breakup stronger than before, and how to avoid getting stuck in negative loops so that we can move onward and upward.
Episode #47- The Second Breakup One
This time they’re discussing what it’s like to be the one initiating the breakup. They start by discussing the difficulty of knowing whether your relationship problems are “normal” or “breakup worthy.”
Episode #46- The First Breakup One ft. Dara Pollak
Dara is a wonderful and vulnerable storyteller, and she shares her emotional journey from relationship to breakup to moving forward afterwards.
Episode #45- The Second Anxious One
They cover a huge range of topics including how to share your needs, how to self-soothe, when to bring your partner into your anxiety and ask them for help, and how to manage anxious feelings about being on the same page.
Episode #44- The First Anxious One
Dating can (and does) frequently cause anxious thoughts and feelings, so Ali & Roark start the multi-episode series by discussing some tried-and-true anxiety management strategies they use.
Episode #43- The Stylish One ft. Alyssa Dineen
We discuss discovering your personal style, being confident in your clothes, and what to never wear on a first date. It’s a super fun conversation and don’t blame us if it results in either a closet clean out or a trip to your favorite store!
Episode #42- The First Hot Topics One
For their first Hot Topics episode, Ali & Roark read a listener’s screenshot and discuss whether she should go out with the guy she’s texting, they answer a question about a guy whose friends secretly spied on their date, and more!
Episode #41- The Couples Therapy One ft. Charisse Cooke
Charisse covers a ton of ground and answers listener questions such as how to handle having doubts about your partner, how to get what you need from a relationship, and how to set boundaries in a gentle way.
Episode #40- The Family One
They answer questions like when’s the right time to meet someone’s family? Along with many more and share horror and success stories of their own.
Episode #39- The Multiple One
Ali & Roark talk through the logistics and emotions of that early-dating phase. Topics include, how to tell someone you’re still open to dating others (and whether you have to), running into someone you’re dating while on another date, and how to manage your attachment.
Episode #38- The Fifth Grab Bag One ft. Shaun Galanos
They answer all sorts of questions about direct communication and vulnerability. This is the longest episode yet because the three have way too much fun laughing, commiserating, and agreeing with each other.
Episode #37- The Second Attachment One ft. Kristie Taylor
Kirstie, a dating and relationship writer who authored the book What I Wish I Knew About Love, drops about 83 insightful bombs this episode as the three women discuss their own attachment journey, and answer your questions!
Episode #36- The First Attachment One
This week, they define each attachment style, discuss where their styles came from, and share a few anecdotes about navigating dating through an attachment-style lens.
Episode #35- The Aligned One
Ali & Roark discuss a HuffPost article “8 Things You *Don’t* Need To Have In Common With Your Future Spouse” and answer a few listener questions as they parse through what important commonalities are, and which ones matter less.
Episode #34- The Defining One
Ali & Roark are here to talk all about defining the relationship (the DTR talk). After being asked this question a whole bunch, they finally break down the concept what it means to be “exclusive.”
Episode #33- The Second Social One
This time around, Ali & Roark talk about how to navigate social media pitfalls while in a relationship and after a break-up.
Episode #32- The Social One
Is it weird if someone doesn’t have social media? How do you handle someone asking for your social media handle before you’ve gone on even one date? And once you’re ready, do you need to discuss posting your new partner on the grid?
Episode #31- The Fourth Grab Bag One
This round, topics include: how to move forward after a break up, dating in a new city, and setting boundaries in a new relationship.
Episode #30- The Swiping One
They go over Ali’s philosophy for which photos to use and debate the merits of various prompts on Hinge and Bumble. Listen to this episode with your profile open and see if you can upgrade yours!
Episode #29- The Dating & New York One ft. Jonah Feingold
They had the pleasure of watching Dating & New York – Jonah’s debut movie as writer and director – and then getting to chat with him about it. Jonah shares about his creative process, tells an incredible casting story, and discusses rom-com tropes.
Episode #28- The Opening One
Did you know this is Ali & Roark’s tried-and-true Bumble conversation opener? Filled with practical advice, this episode is all about how to get messages going and grab someone’s interest on the apps.
Episode #27- The Searching One ft. Jenna Langbaum
Jenna’s book is a unique approach to sharing stories of modern dating. In a collection of short stories, she highlights the complicated emotions and bizarre dating stories we all accumulate as we search for the one.
Episode #26- The Negging One
This week’s topic is negging: the back-handed compliment aka an insult that unfortunately permeates dating.
Episode #25- The Confusing One
They answer listener questions about the confusion of having a strong in-person connection but lukewarm texting; and what it’s like to date someone who behaves like you’re in a relationship but tells you they don’t want one.
Episode #24- The Group Chat One ft. Ilana Dunn
This week, Ali welcomes on Ilana Dunn (@ilana.dunn) of Seeing Other People (@seeingotherpeople) to co-host while Roark takes the bar.
Episode #23- The Third Grab Bag One
They read a *chef’s kiss* listener submitted Phone Throwing Moment, and this week’s Weird or Nah triggers what will inevitably be a podcast mainstay: Ali’s Anger.
Episode #22- The Exploding One
They define love bombing and talk about how tricky it can be to separate it from genuine affection and interest. Both share their own experiences being love bombed and address how to set effective boundaries when you notice love bombing behaviors.
Episode #21- The Undefined One
Ali & Roark delve into the messy topic of relationships that aren’t quite relationships, but they’re also totally relationships. We said it was messy!
Episode #20- The After The First One
Ali & Roark finally finish the first date trilogy and address after the first date. How do you tell if you’re into someone enough for a second date? They address this question and more!
Episode #19- The Queer One ft. Queer Dating Coach Ariella Serur
Ali & Roark have wanted to do an episode focused on LGBTQIA+ dating for a while now, and Pride Month felt like the perfect time! Ariella Serur, @queerdatingcoach on Instagram, comes on the pod to have both an insightful and fun conversation.
Episode #18- The Grieving One
Ali opens up about her own personal journey since her dad’s death in 2018. She shares what it is like to talk to a new partner about it and how she’s come to understand new needs and boundaries.
Episode #17- The During The First One
Ali & Roark thought discussing the first date would be two episodes, but turns out it is a trilogy! In Episode 14 they covered everything before the date and in an upcoming episode they will tackle after the first date.
Episode #16- The Second Grab Bag One
Ali & Roark are together this week for a second grab bag episode. You read that right – Ali & Roark are literally together! They had a blast recording this one in-person in New York.
Episode #15- The Not Dying Alone One ft. Logan Ury
Ali & Roark could not be more excited to have Logan Ury on the podcast this week. Logan is a behavioral scientist, dating coach, and author of How to Not Die Alone.
Episode #14- The Before The First One
Ali & Roark are back this week for part one of two episodes on a very important topic: the first date. In this episode, they discuss everything leading up to the date (part two will be about the date itself).
Episode #13- The Just Friends One ft. Seeing Other People
Ali & Roark welcome on Ilana & Jonah, the duo behind the Seeing Other People podcast, to discuss everything surrounding being friends with an ex.
Episode #12- The Motherly One
it’s a Mother’s Day extravaganza as Ali & Roark welcome their moms to the podcast! Ali’s mom Trude and Roark’s mom Christine share their dating stories, offer advice to their younger selves, and muse about the men they hope Ali & Roark will end up with.
Episode #11- The Alarming One
This week, Ali & Roark are seeing red! Flags, that is. They start by defining a red flag: how is it different from a dealbreaker, and is a yellow flag even a thing?
Episode #10- The Friendly One ft. Matt & Darcy
Ali & Roark welcome their first guests to the podcast: their best guy friends Matt & Darcy! Ever wondered what it is like to have a close friend of your preferred dating gender?
Episode #9- The First Grab Bag One
Ali and Roark are switching it up and trying all the new things! They introduce a segment where they ask, “is that weird or nah?” and answer as many questions as possible submitted by @findingmrheight Instagram followers.
Episode #8- The Inviting One
As great philosophers once said, “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” The Spice Girls were right! Which is why Ali & Roark are talking all things surrounding meeting the friends.
Episode #7- The Boomerang One
Should you get back together with your ex? The bad news: Ali & Roark don’t know. The good news: what they DO know are some questions you can ask yourself when deciding if this is right for you.
Episode #6- The Corresponding One
Ever feel like you’re having a great back and forth with a match over text, but it just never seems to end with a date? Sounds like you’re in a pen pal situation, and both Ali and Roark have been there, too!
Episode #5- The Needy One
“If he wanted to, he would” – sound familiar? Spoiler alert: Ali & Roark do not approve this message. They debunk this dating myth and rewrite the common phrase to put the focus on communication and understanding your own needs.
Episode #4- The Disappearing One
Boo! Don’t worry, this podcast isn’t disappearing, but Ali and Roark are talking about men who did! Ghosting. One of the most common problems facing modern dating.
Episode #3- The Skeptical One
This week, Ali and Roark discuss how to talk to people who are skeptical about online dating: parents, friends, and even people ON the apps (we are talking to you let’s-lie-about-how-me-met people).
Episode #2- The Unsolicited One
It’s only episode two and Ali & Roark are already tackling *that* topic…that’s right, dick pics, requests for nudes, and when a match gets too sexual too soon for your comfort level.
Episode #1- The Actual First One
Get to know your co-hosts as Ali & Roark share both their friendship origin story and walk down memory lane of relationships past.
Episode #0- The First One
Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast – a teaser! Meet dating coach Ali from her @findingmrheight TikTok and Instagram and her good friend Roark as they embark on a podcast.
